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takemeback-:

How to have sex: First go like this, spin around. Stop! Double take three times. One, two three. Then pelvic thrust. Whooooooo, whooooooo. Stop on your right foot, don’t forget it! Now it’s time to bring it around town. Bring-it-a-round-town. Then you do this, then this, and this, then this, then that, then this and that, and then…

(via lividfire)

drunktrophywife:

tinychatter:

tinychatter:

what do you call a sunburnt penis

image

Kyle this is the worst

(via pot-of-irish)

virgo-dragon:

wrote-miss-ibis:

cellarspider:

lyricalred:

whiskyrunner:

Just a reminder:the natural diet of these birds is BONES. Not just bone marrow; actual bone shards. They pick up huge freaking bones from carcasses and drop them onto rocks until they get spiky pieces and then they swallow them. Their stomach acid dissolves bone.

look me in the eye and tell me that’s not a fucking dragon

And they aren’t naturally red like that. That’s self-applied makeup. They find the reddest earth they can to work into their feathers as a status symbol.

And they don’t scavenge other parts of carcases, just the bones. 85-90% of their diet is exclusively bone. Hence why it’s only a myth that these birds would just pick up whole lambs and carry them off. It’s not true, but in German they’re still called Lämmergeier as a result.

So metal

These are dragons and no one is telling me otherwise!

(Source: jenkristofu, via soflymetothemoon)

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